i feel so sick. So tired. All of the drama.. I can’t handle it. I feel so alone.. it’s just.. sickening.. It can’t be okay to feel like this. It isn’t okay to feel like this. And that’s why I didn’t take care of my health. I’m too busy being gullible, and caring for fake friends because I’m so clingy and needy for that little speck of attention, whatever little speck of attention that I can get. I feel like a broken branch that fell off of a tree, and slowly tumbled to the ground to see it was all alone despite being in a crowd of leaves. There is a difference between alone and lonely you know. Some of these selfish people just can’t get in into their heads that I like to be alone. Not lonely. Nobody should be lonely. It feels so.. wrong. I’m forced into a sea of kids I don’t even know, only to be pushed around and called entire libraries of names and mispronunciations. I don’t know what to do any more. It’s like a grey.. sea of just.. familiar faces that seem so stranger despite seeing them every day. I’m sick of the mask. Sick and tired of all of the constant crying. Of the drama that thunders throughout my ears. People say that sticks and stones break you bones but words will never hurt. That’s incorrect. The words hurt more than physical pain. Because you can run from pain. Not from words. Those words will repeat and thunder in your head until you hear them so many times, and after so many restless nights, they begin to fade into a library of other memories. An entire archive of pain. I’m sorry if my vents hurt or scare you all. I’m human too. I guess I’ve just forgotten what love and friendship feel like. Special thanks to all of my friends. Who are always there for me. Despite my constant whining about stuff. Despite all of the repetitive themes. Despite the nasty opinions. Despite my nasty attitude. Despite how toxic I probably am.
:)
