Two - Dreams I think Sinatra, or as I call her, Sinn, heard me talking to myself rapidly out of frustration, because I heard Rose say “bye” and Sinn walked over to my room and gave me a look. “What is it this time?” she asked. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “I know you’re nervous about starting high school and my underlying self-pressure for myself means that I’m carrying two lives at once even though I don’t have to.” Sinn blinked at me. “What?” Sinn frowned. “You’re right,” she admitted. As problematic as my life is, we both kind of have problematic lives. Even though Sinn won’t be in Synergy the way I was, she’s got her own… issues. My sister has dyslexia. Eventually, that conversation ended with the two of us trying to help each other manage their stress, and boy, must’ve that been messy. Despite the emotional roller coaster, I got through the rest of the day feeling good; it really helped to talk to Sinn, as she’s one of the few people I’m comfortable talking to. There’s only three people that I can even communicate with without my senses going haywire, not including my parents, otherwise that’d be pretty unhealthy. Those three people are Sinn, of course, Floyd— one of the nicest guys I’ve met despite being blind and in Synergy— and Pearl, yet another Synergy kid, with cerebral palsy this time. I can’t say that the three of us formed a sort of social group or anything, but we’re all outcasts in a way, so we hang out together just for the sake of having someone to be with. Floyd and I finished senior last year; Pearl will be going into junior, so it’s kind of sad to part ways. Speaking of Floyd, I fell asleep that night and had an interesting dream, the kind that is connected with reality in some weird way. Floyd was sitting on the seat of the bus across from me, and I had been humming the whole way home from school, which eventually grew into me belting out some tune. He… he… I think Floyd might’ve said that I had a really nice voice. It felt pretty unreal when I woke up— it was summer, after all— but I realized it had actually happened sometime around May. Floyd was the reason I had decided to sign up for that thing. I’m not sure whether to be a little mad at him or what, I just know that I’ve had a passion for music for a long time now, and that my motivation was not completely coming from Floyd. Well, that’s reason to be regretting my own choices. Hopefully it goes well. Between me and Sinn, I sometimes feel like she might be the one with more nervousness in the air, but I am not ready for what is to come next. If we’re both okay stress-wise, that’s good but unlikely news. Sinn walked in on me again while I was on my laptop, and she seemed to be crying. I didn’t need to ask her what’s up. “School?” I asked. I saw her nodding from my peripheral vision, and I closed my laptop, trying to keep eye contact with her. “Y-yeah,” she stammered. “What if th-they know, that I al-almost ended up— in Synergy?” Her heavy breathing broke her voice up quite a bit but I’m pretty sure I understood. Sinn was almost disqualified from normal classes from the dyslexia, and we’re both relieved it didn’t end like that, but it still sent some worry our way.
