im still sick dont judge so apparently this is a thing i wrote a parody of the squip song where rich really likes pens for some reason his pen cleared his skin, got rid of his debt, and cured the common cold i guess have fun listening to me die karaoke music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TPiyEqcsdc
lyrics: Freshman year I didn’t have a pencil or a clue I was a loser just like you Good marks would only soar by I was gross As every teacher would attest My studying was a futile quest My writing hand was depressed He was so tired Poor guy I was hopeless, hopeless I was helpless, helpless Every time I’d walk the hallway I’d trip I was stagnant and lazy I was just so crazy And then (x a million) I got a pen You got men? Not men, pen I’ve just never heard of it before Yeah that’s the point! This is some top-secret, can’t even look it up on the internet stuff [ rich's voice is so l o w oml i can't do it ] It’s from japan It’s a grey, oblong pen Quantum nanotechnology ink and nib The quantum computer in the nib will travel ‘cross the page until it writes your thesis like it tells you what to write So it’s like… Wikipedia? It’s better than Wikipedia, Jeremy [ definitely going to kill my voice so imma skip it ] iTs froM jaPAN It’s a grey, oblong pen Quantum nanotechnology ink and nib The quantum computer in the nib will travel ‘cross the page until it writes your thesis like it tells you what to write It tells you what to write It’s pre-programmed It’s amazing Speaks to you directly You do homework It directs you It helps you write correctly Helps you get good grades It helps you get paid Picture this Nobody cares if you are late ‘Cause even teachers think you’re great The weekend’s just a full-on state Of doing nothing Or doing something stunning [ here i have a barely-audible coughing fit, you might not be able to hear it in the recording (i'M STILL SICK WHAT IS THIS) and as a result im kinda off-balance for a few lines ] Right now you’re helpless, helpless You are almost hopeless On the school honours list you’re Just a blip [ i kinda get back on track here ] But if you take my advice And if you pay the listed price Well, when you go from sad to interesting to zen Your career path will bend When you buy a pen Hey, yeah, a pen Whoa, a pen Again and again when you’ve got in your hand a pen, a pen, a pen [ now its time for me to drink a lot of water and eat a bunch of cough drops ]