Harrypaw and the Caterer's Stone: http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/20977308/ Harrypaw and the Prisoner of Catzcaban: http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/20976077/ ^--See those for notes and credits. Raindapple belongs to the awesome @EmmaKat! Procrastination this is. Ah, well, it's Easter break. AND NOW, LE SPOOF. Mapletail: JUDS presents: The Catber of Secrets. Dawnfeather: These Harry Potter puns are just getting worse and worse. Mapletail: Not my fault. Dawnfeather: All your fault. Mapletail: Is not. Dawnfeather: Is too. Flamestone: Am I Snape again? Mapletail: Well, Sirius isn't till book 3, so I guess you are. Flamestone: Yayz! Dawnfeather: Starring Jayspirit, Lionpelt, and Cloudedsky, along with, once again, a seemingly endless cast of characters. Including our special guests, Nightcloud, Breezepaw, Heavystep, Tigerstar, and Graystripe. Also Bumblestripe, Spiderleg, and Foxleap, whom Mapletail so carelessly forgot to mention last time we spoofed Harry Potter. Mapletail: That wasn't me, it was you. Dawnfeather: Prove it. Mapletail: *clears throat, then reads from Caterer's Stone transcript* "Dawnfeather: Starring, once again, Jayspirit, Lionpelt, and Cloudedsky, with a very big cast of supporting characters, including special guests Nightcloud, Breezepaw--*shoots incriminating glance at Mapletail* Mapletail: *is leaning on Cloudedsky's TARDIS* :R" ...and here we had a fight about my use of the perfectly innocent :R emoticon...ah, here we go..."Dawnfeather: *ignores* ...Crookedstar, Lionblaze, and Tigerstar, and this time, let's welcome Graystripe, Heavystep, and Squirrelflight!" Dawnfeather: Oops. Guess it was me, then. Oh, and let’s not forget Raindapple! Raindapple: Hi! Color: *huggles* Bumblestripe: Larkbright! The basilisk costume is too big for the three of us. Larkbright: Okay! Easily remedied. *snaps fingers* Mousewhisker: *falls in* NUUU! I'LL HAVE YOU SOMEDAY, SQUIRREL--huh? Where am I? Larkbright: You're in the JUDS Presents studio. Now go play a basilisk with Bumblestripe, Spiderleg, and Foxleap. Mousewhisker: *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* Bumblestripe: Translation: Okay, Larkbright. *glares at Mousewhisker* Mousewhisker: That is not *BLEEPING* what I said! Bumblestripe: I don't think she cares. Larkbright: *cheerfully* Nope! Go get in your places. Dawnfeather: Costumes by Larkbright. Mapletail: I think we know that by now. Cherrykit: Larky! I can't find the owl wings! Larkbright: Here! Have a Rainwhisker's Awesome Jetpack! Dawnfeather: *facepaw* We're using way too many of these. Mapletail: Well, at least we're getting them free now. Dawnfeather: -_- Have you and Larkbright been raiding Rainwhisker's den again? Mapletail: :R Dawnfeather: AGAIN WITH THE :R EMOTICONS! Mapletail: Hey, I reserve my right to use them! I'm a free citizen! Dawnfeather: Contract, section II, line 15. Mapletail: You're making that up. Dawnfeather: *reads from contract* "No JUDS cast member may use new emoticons ("Emoticons") if Emoticons have been prohibited by higher ranking JUDS cast members." Mapletail: "Higher ranking"? You're a camera cat. Dawnfeather: You're an advertiser. Mapletail: So? Dawnfeather: I outrank you. Mapletail: Prove it. Dawnfeather: *reads from contract* "Hierarchy of JUDS cast is set out as follows: 1. Hosts. 2. Direct staff (set design, cameras, lighting, food, etc.) 3. Substitutes, apprentices, indirect staff (publicity, etc.) 4. Random friends, fans, and family members." See? I outrank you. Mapletail: ...I hate you. Dawnfeather: Too bad. Cloudedsky: Um, we should get on with the show, guys. This has already taken up 2 and a half pages in Color's Google Drive. Mapletail: Holy dirt. Dawnfeather: On with the show, then. *curtains open* Harrypaw: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Uncle Fernon: Great. Go sit in your room. Harrypaw: *sulks in room* Dobby: *appears* Your epicness, I have horrible news for you! Harrypaw: Uh, this isn't a great time. Can I call you back later? Dobby: *runs repeatedly into wall* Harrypaw: Uhm, what's going on? Dobby: Bad things, your epicness! Harrypaw: I think I had figured that part out already... Dobby: *runs into wall again and knocks it over, then disappears* Uncle Fernon: BLARGH! Harrypaw: Oops. Uncle Fernon: RRRRUUUUUUUHHHHH! Friedpaw: Hey, Harrypaw! Check out the new car! Harrypaw: Did you steal it? Gorgepaw: Oh, just shut up and get in. Car: *flies away* Uncle Fernon: *falls out of window* Harrypaw: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Weaselclaw: Hey, cool! Mollyweasel: AHEM. Friedpaw: Oops. Mollyweasel: Now you have to come and wait in line with me while I fangirl over Lockheart! Mwa ha ha! Gorgepaw: Aw, Mom! All: *poof to bookstore* Harrypaw: Dangit, I forgot my glasses again! Lockheart: Oh, Harrypaw! Want a special random dead leaf? It has my scent on it because I stepped on it earlier! Mollyweasel and Hermionepaw: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Harrypaw: I'll pass, thanks. Ronpaw: Let's just skip to the part where we run into the wall, okay? Harrypaw and Ronpaw: *run into the wall and crash* Harrypaw: Okay, I wasn't expecting that. Ronpaw: I know! Let's fly in the car! Harrypaw: Great idea! Both: *get into the car* Ronpaw: AWAY, CAR! AWAY! Car: *begins traveling along at Virtually Stopped* Ronpaw: AWAY! Harrypaw: Hey, wait! This car is an 1842 Smithson Fireheart, not a 1987 Mizuki Tallstar! Ronpaw: Oops. That's just as well, then, because we're about to run into that tree. Harrypaw: Wait what? Car: *crashes into tree* Ronpaw: *holds up broken wand* Oops. Harrypaw: *pops up* Hey, look, we're at Hogwarts! Ronpaw: Well, that takes care of the problem. Harrypaw: Hey, that's my line! Ronpaw: Great Scott, you're right! Harrypaw: *facepaws* Oh, I have a bad feeling about this. Ronpaw: Be quiet! Maybe we'll be able to sneak in unnoticed! Loud alarms: *go off* Everyone in the cast (including the TV): *runs outside* Ronpaw: Well, so much for that... Gorgepaw: EPICNESS! Snakeclaw: EXPEL THEM! Random Dalek: EXTERMINATE! Filchfur: Go away! -_- Dalek: *blasts Mrs. Norris with whisk of death* Mrs. Norris: *is petrified* Filchfur: YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT! *chases random dalek with mop* Harrypaw: Wait. What just happened? Ronpaw: About four chapters all at once, I think. Hey, look, a ghost! Hermionepaw: Crud, it's Myrtlepaw. Myrtlepaw: Yo. Ronpaw: What? Myrtlepaw: *floats off sobbing* Harrypaw: Well, that was random. Why...? Hermionepaw: Plot development. Harrypaw: Oh, right. Mapletail: How did we hire her, again? Dawnfeather: She got bored with her swimming pool. Mapletail: Oh ye--wait, what swimming pool? Dawnfeather: Long story. Harrypaw: Where did the Dalek come from, then? Mapletail: The Black Archive. Duh. Hermionepaw: Actually, I think it was from the Chamber of Secrets. Harrypaw and Ronpaw (in perfect unison): What's that? Hermionepaw: Well, a very long time ago, four cats--Griffinheart, Ravenclaw, Puffsky, and Slitherclaw--decided to make a school called Hogwarts; and they all were good friends, but had very different opinions. For instance, Ravenclaw wanted to throw Breezepelt into the gorge, but nobody else really liked this idea. Also, Griffinheart liked to eat mice, but Slitherclaw didn't. And none of the other founders liked eating frogs like he did. Slitherclaw got tired of having mice for dinner every day, so he made a long speech, kind of like this one but with more meaningless terms like "revitalize", about the importance of pure-blood wizards. Of course, this was kind of irrelevant, so the others still weren't sold. So he built a secret chamber. It was called the Chamber of Secrets, because it was a chamber and it was secret. He also filled it with dead frogs, claiming that someday some cat who liked frogs would come along and eat them before they went bad. Hopefully. And then, Mapleshade died. The end. Harrypaw: What? Hermionepaw: *shrugs* Well, the story was kind of boring, and I don't like Mapleshade. Ronpaw: So apparently there were some random Daleks in there too? Hermionepaw: I dunno. Probably. Ancient warriors were nutters. Woodflight: Heyy! Who wants to play Quidditch? Harrypaw: ... Woodflight: Great! Come on! Dragonpaw: Mwa ha ha ha! Bludger: *hits Dragonpaw in the face* Harrypaw: *catches Snitch* Well, that takes care of the problem. Bludger: *hits Harrypaw in the arm* Harrypaw: *faints* Lockheart: I'll take care of this! ARMOSSINOPIAMENTIUM! Harrypaw's arm: *flops* Lockheart: Oops. Ah. Well, that does take care of the problem. Mostly. Poppypelt: Look, you just go away, all right? Lockheart: Oh, is my awesomeness blinding you? Sorry. I'll move, then. Poppypelt: *facepaws* Mapletail: Later, at flipping 2 in the morning... Dobby: YOUR EPICNESS! Harrypaw: BLARGH! Dobby: Dobby has come to save Harrypaw's life! Harrypaw: Um, thanks, but no thanks. Can you, like, just go? Dobby: *runs repeatedly into wall* Harrypaw: Oh, for StarClan's sake... Dawnfeather: Later, at the Dueling Club... Cherrykit: What's a dueling club? Dawnfeather: Read the book, because honestly, this spoof is not going to make anything at all clear. Cherrykit: Great. Harrypaw: EXPELLIARMUS! Dragonpaw: RANDOMSNAKEIO! Random snake: *appears* Hi. Harrypaw: *in parseltongue* Um, hi. Random snake: Sorry, but do you have any idea where the bathrooms are? Harrypaw: Sure, they're that way. Third porticullis to the right. Random snake: Okay. Thank you. *slithers away* Justinpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *is petrified* Harrypaw: What just happened? Ronpaw: You. Talked. To. The. Snake. Harrypaw: Relax. It just wanted to know where the bathroom was. Ronpaw: What? Myrtlepaw: *is sobbing hysterically* Harrypaw: O_O Where did you come from? Myrtlepaw: There was a snake in my bathroom! And someone threw a book at my head! Ronpaw: *picks up book* Hey, cool, a wet book! Let's go sneak into the SlytherinClan common room and throw it at Dragonpaw! Hermionepaw: Great idea! Here's some Polyjuice Potion! Ronpaw: Some what? Hermionepaw: Incredibly unpleasant potion with the consistency of mud and the taste of rotten cabbage. Ronpaw: Why would we want to drink that? Hermionepaw: *shrugs* Just drink it. Ronpaw and Harrypaw: *drink* Larkbright: *sprays paint all over Ronpaw, Harrypaw, and Hermionepaw* Cloudedsky: Hey, you got too much paint in my fur! And I wasn't supposed to get spray painted anyway! Larkbright: Oops. Go take a shower. Cloudedsky: But there's only cold water. Berrynose used all the hot water up earlier. Larkbright: Here, you can go and use the hot tub. Just be back in ten minutes, okay? Cloudedsky: *goes to hot tub* Random cat: Psst! Here comes Dragonpaw. Dragonpaw: Oh, hi, Crabpaw, Goldypaw. Harrypaw: YO. Ronpaw: *grunts* Dragonpaw: Uh, well, do you want to go to our common room? Harrypaw: YHUH. Ronpaw: *grunts* Dragonpaw: Well, come on, then. Mapletail: At the SlytherinClan camp/common room... Dragonpaw: What's the password again? Harrypaw: EH? Ronpaw: *grunts* Dragonpaw: -_- Never mind. So, did you hear, Weaselclaw has to have his house searched? Harrypaw: ... Ronpaw: *grunts threateningly* Dragonpaw: Gosh, you guys are slow today. Here, I'll tell you a joke: A GryffindorClanner walks into a bar and asks for a cookie. But they don't have cookies, because it's a bar, and the GryffindorClanner is too stupid to realize it! Hahahahahaha! Harrypaw: ... Ronpaw: ... Dragonpaw: What's up with you guys today? I thought it was funny. Mapletail: Then you are really bad at humor. Dawnfeather: Mapletail, shush! Ronpaw: *throws wet book at Dragonpaw's head* Harrypaw and Ronpaw: *flee SlytherinClan common room/camp* Gingypaw: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Harrypaw: What was the point of that again? Mapletail: Plot development. Ronpaw: *grunts* Harrypaw: Hey, what does this book say, anyway? Book: Ring-ding-ding-dering-ding-gering-ding. Harrypaw: *writes in book* That wasn't funny, you know. Book: I don't care, because I'm Tom Riddle, and I'm a prefect. Harrypaw: *still writing* Wow, you're worse than Percy. Book: Excuse me? Harrypaw: Nothing. Anyway, since books can apparently write back at me today, I reckon it's not such a far-fetched guess that they also know about the apparently nonexistent Chamber of Secrets. Am I right? Book: That was really bad logic, but yes. Harrypaw: Get on with it, then. Book: *sucks Harrypaw in* Harrypaw: Um, hello? Random guy: AUGH! Dawnfeather: Larkbright! I asked you explicitly, did you get the perception filters, and you said, yes, Dawnfeather, Tigerstar 'R' Us had a sale last week! Larkbright: Oops. *gives Jayspirit a perception filter* Jayspirit: Cool beans. Riddleclaw: Hello, Hagrid. Hagrid: Oh, hi, Riddleclaw! Wanna see my pet spider? Isn't he cute? Riddleclaw: *grumpy cat face* NO. Hagrid: Oops. Riddleclaw: Put it down, Hagrid, or I release my random Daleks on you. Hagrid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOwaitwhatOOOOOOOOOOOO! Harrypaw: *is sucked back out of book* Wait, what? Mcgonagallpelt: Hey, look! Hermionepaw and Gingypaw: *are petrified* Ronpaw: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Harrypaw: Hey, look! There's something in Hermionepaw's hand! Random piece of paper: Basiliskes are Badde and Eville. Theye looketh like Giante Snakes. Spideres do not enjoye the Companye of the Basiliske. Allso, Randome Dalekes are to be Fearred, for theye maye Colllaborateth with the Basiliske. And theye allso possesse Giante Whiskes of Deathe. So thou muste be Verye Carefull in the Companye of a Basiliske. Ronpaw: Not very good spellers, were they? Harrypaw: Hey, they had a letter called "ash". You can't really blame them. Ronpaw: And what's this about Spideres? Giante Spidere: MWA HA HA! 1842 Smithson Fireheart: *runs over Giante Spidere* Harrypaw: Well, that takes care of the problem. Random Dalek: EXTERMINATE! Harrypaw: Oh no you don't! Lockheart: Stand aside! I'll ward him off with my awesomeness! Random Dalek: EXTERMINATE! *blasts Lockheart with whisk of death* Lockheart: *is blasted* Oh, hello. Do you have any cupcakes? Harrypaw: -_- Look, let's just go and get Gingypaw, okay? Ronpaw: Actually, I'm going to stay here and make sure that this dude doesn't try and ask the Dalek for cupcakes... Harrypaw: Suit yourself. Awaaaaay! *jumps into chamber of secrets* *in chamber of secrets* Harrypaw: Hey, this looks like the Chamber of Secrets! How come I never saw it before? Riddleclaw: Because it’s secret, you stupid GryffindorClanner. It’s called the Chamber of Secrets. Harrypaw: I knew that, tha--Hey! What are you doing here? Riddleclaw: MWA HA HA! *speaks parseltongue* Basilisk: ROAR! Part of basilisk’s middle: Wait, do basilisks roar? Basilisk’s tail: What does the basilisk say? Other part of basilisk’s middle: What does the Foxleap say? Basilisk’s tail: *grumbles* Touché. First part of basilisk’s middle: I think basilisks hiss, actually. Basilisk’s head: It’s my decision, actually. I’m the head. Basilisk’s tail: Why do you get to be the head anyway, Bumblestripe? Basilisk’s head: Because I am awesome. Second part of basilisk’s middle: Oh, you think you’ve got it bad, Foxleap? I get to be stuffed in between you two. First part of basilisk’s middle: It’s good training, apparently. You’re the new guy. Second part of basilisk’s middle: Training? For what? Basilisk’s tail: The dragon. Second part of basilisk’s middle: *BLEEEEEEEEP* Jayspirit: Look, guys, you’re wasting time. Whatever the basilisk does say, I don’t think its head and tail are supposed to argue with each other. Riddleclaw: *in parseltongue* SILENCE! JUST KILL HIM! Second part of basilisk’s middle: Hey, we don’t speak Parseltongue! Riddleclaw: Yes, you do! You’re the basilisk! Basilisk: *falls over* Riddleclaw: Oh for StarClan’s sake. Random Dalek: EXTERMINATE! *exterminates Harrypaw* Fawkes: *flies in* Harrypaw: FAWKES! Fawkes: *heals Harrypaw with epic healing ray of healingness* Harrypaw: Yay! Thanks! *pulls out sword and slices Dalek, random wet book, and, for good measure, the basilisk* Basilisk’s tail: As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough already. Basilisk’s head: Shut up, Foxleap. We’re supposed to be dead right now. Fawkes: Hi, Jayspirit! Jayspirit: Oh, hey, Raindapple. Incidentally, was that a Rainwhisker’s Awesome Jetpack? Raindapple: What else? Gingypaw: Harrypaw! *huggles* Hey, look, you killed the wet book. Harrypaw: *shrugs* It was too full of itself. Gingypaw: Actually, I think the opposite. Harrypaw: Wait, what? Mollyweasel: GINGYPAW! *huggles* Darklight: Hmph. Harrypaw: Your name is too weird, Malfoy! *throws sock* Dobby: *catches sock* YAY! FREEDOM! Darklight: NUUUUU! *chases* Dawnfeather: And this concludes another awesome epicsode of JUDS Presents! Be with us next time, when we switch up the order of things yet again! Mapletail: Bye! Foxleap: What does the Fawkes say? Dobby: *crashes through wall* Cast (in order of appearance) Director/Narrator: Dawnfeather Assistant Director/Narrator: Mapletail Harrypaw: Jayspirit Uncle Fernon: Rainfern Hedwigwing: Cherrykit Dobby: Berrystep Friedpaw and Gorgepaw: Splashrain and Berrystorm Weaselclaw: Diamondshine Mollyweasel: Leafstream Lockheart: Berrynose Gingypaw: Brightfire Hermionepaw: Cloudedsky Ronpaw: Lionpelt Myrtlepaw: Silveryfern Woodflight: Lionblaze Poppypelt: Leafleaf Dragonpaw: Snowstrike Hagrid: Flamechaser Aunt Petunia: Nightcloud Dudley: Breezepaw Malfoy: Nightfeather Crabpaw: Tigerfoot Goldypaw: Kestrelclaw Mcgonagallpelt: Ivyleaf Dumbledorestar: Crookedstar Percyheart: Beechtail Snakeclaw: Flamestone Filchfur: Muddyglaze Basilisk: Bumblestripe, Spiderleg, Foxleap, and Mousewhisker Riddleclaw/Voleymort: Tigerclaw (blame it on the TARDIS again) Fawkes: Raindapple Darklight: Crowfeather
