Prequel/sequel/whichever you like, what the heck: http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/20976077/ A sequel in all respects: http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/21001228/ Go back to the first link for some important explanations/credits/a bunch of other stuff. If you're too lazy to click on the link, just read and enjoy! Major spoilers for Harry Potter book 1, and possible minor spoilers for other books. Proceed with caution (unless you've read all the books, in which case enjoy!) However, don't worry about spoilers for Warriors--it's mostly OCs and no plot points. AND NOW, LE SPOOF. Dawnfeather: Ahem. JUDS presents: The Caterer's Stone. Cloudedsky: Isn't that pronounced KAY-tər-ər? Dawnfeather: Actually, it's, ahem, a pun. *cough* A LOVELY pun. (Notmyidea.) Mapletail: Well, I thought it was funny. Flamestone: I dropped the cauldrons on my foot again. Where's Larkbright? Mapletail: Wait, aren't you-- Flamestone: Well, Sirius doesn't technically show up until book 3, which means I'M SNAPE, YUS! :D Larkbright: *sprays with black paint* BLACK SNAKEY! Flamestone: ...You made my fur all gross! Larkbright: Exactly. :D Flamestone: ...I've still got a cauldron on my foot over here. Larkbright: Whoops, hold on... Dawnfeather: Starring, once again, Jayspirit, Lionpelt, and Cloudedsky, with a very big cast of supporting characters, including special guests Nightcloud, Breezepaw--*shoots incriminating glance at Mapletail* Mapletail: *is leaning on Cloudedsky's TARDIS* :R Dawnfeather: :R? What kind of emoticon is that? Mapletail: Whistling with two fingers. :R Dawnfeather: -_- Mapletail: *innocent whistle* That better? Dawnfeather: *ignores* ...Crookedstar, Lionblaze, Tigerstar, and this time, let's welcome Graystripe, Heavystep, and Squirrelflight! Audience: *claps* Random cat in audience: :R Mapletail: Costumes, props, set design, etc., etc. by Larkbright. Larkbright: Dawnfeather! Where do we keep the pulley systems? Dawnfeather: We don't have any, why? Larkbright: :-| I can't get the cauldron off of Flamestone's foot. Mapletail: See, I told you we should've ordered the Styrofoam knock-offs. Larkbright: Okay, I'll have to rent a bulldozer. Just hang on a sec. Dawnfeather: Just be sure to clean up the mess when you're done. Larkbright: Sure. :) Squirrelflight: Why do I have to be Quirrell? Mapletail: Because Quirrell sounds like Squirrel, and, for some strange reason, Color thought that would be a good pun. Color: It's definitely better than "caterer." Mapletail: Don't insult my pun skills. Larkbright: Why did we do book 3 before book 1? Mapletail: Because Color is obsessed with book 3. Color: *clutching book to chest* It's true. Splashrain: Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor! Larkbright: I have a bad feeling about this. Mapletail: Go sit in a corner, Larkbright. Larkbright: *sulks in corner* *curtains open* Harry: Hi, I'm Harry. Life stinks. I live with my horrible Uncle Fernon... Uncle Fernon: BLARGH! Dawnfeather: Fernon? Seriously? Color: Not my idea! Mapletail: And I thought I was bad at puns. Harry: ...My horrid Aunt Petunia... Aunt Petunia: HARRY! GO MAKE BREEZYKINS, I MEAN DUDDYKINS, SOME BACON! Harry: ...And my horrendous cousin Dudley. Dudley: Horrid Harry, horrid Harry, teehee. Snake: Hi. Harry: Um, hi. Dudley: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! Aunt Petunia: Poor Duddykins! Harry: Hey, Uncle Fernon, why are there letters coming out of the toaster? Uncle Fernon: Darn it! Remind me to turn it on next time! Harry: Why? Uncle Fernon: So they get roasted! Harry: Why do they need roasting? I prefer mice. Hagrid: *crashes through roof* Larkbright: *from bulldozer* Flamechaser! That was my most expensive set piece! Jayspirit: Shut up, Larky, you're ruining the effect. -_- Hagrid: Hey Harry, guess what? Harry: WUT Hagrid: YUR A WIZARD! Harry: WUT Hagrid: Let's go to Diagonal Alley! Both: *poof to Diagonal Alley* Harry: WUT Hagrid: Here's a bunch of robes and a hat. Here's a bunch of expensive and excessively boring books. Read them. Or don't read them. Whatever. Here's an owl. Hedwigwing: Who! Who! Cloudedsky: WEEEE-OOOOOOOOOO, WEEEE-OOO-OOOO! Dawnfeather: Cloudedsky, wrong Who. This isn't your scene. Shift. Cloudedsky: *shifts* Mapletail: Donuts, anybody? Jayspirit: Cool, donuts! *noms donut* Flamechaser: I wanna mess up my scenes if it means I get a donut! Dawnfeather: LET'S ROLL, PEOPLE. Jayspirit: We're cats. Dawnfeather: KITTEHS. WHATEVER. Hagrid: Here's a wand. Wave it around while yelling stuff. Wand: *explodes* Hagrid: Whoopsies. Here's another wand. Here's a cauldron. Bulldozer with cauldron in bucket: BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEP Larkbright: *dumps cauldron out of bulldozer bucket* Harry: Um, thanks? Hagrid: Oh, and yer name's Harrypaw now. Now go run into the wall. Harrypaw: OK. *runs into the wall and poofs onto train* Well, that takes care of the problem. I guess. Frog: *hops* Harrypaw: Hey look, a frog. Nevillepaw: It's a TOAD! That I can't find! Again! Ronpaw: Hi, I'm Ronpaw! This is my rat! Who are you? Harrypaw: Harrypaw. Ronpaw: *stares* WOAH. Harrypaw: Whatevs. Why do you have a pet rat? Ronpaw: Well, I had greencough at the time, and I guess I never bothered to eat it. Or get rid of it. *flashback* Ronkit: *has greencough* Rat: Squeak. Ronkit: Hark! A rat! I shall name him Mr. Eugene Poofy IV! *faints* Gingykit: Is he OK? Friedpaw: Oh, he'll be fine. He has his sane moments. Gorgepaw: Just not that many of them. Ronkit: *wakes up* Oh hey, it's that rat. Actually, I think Scabbers is a better name. *faints* Gingykit: Uh huh. Was that a sane moment? Friedpaw: ...I couldn't tell. Gorgepaw: Wait, he's still keeping the rat? *end flashback* Hermionepaw: *walks in* Oh, hello. I'm Hermionepaw. You have something on your nose. Kthxbai. *leaves* Ronpaw: Well, then. -_- Dragonpaw: Well, it's Harrypaw, huh? I'm Dragonpaw, and this is Crabpaw and Goldypaw. Harrypaw: I'll say it now: Goldypaw is kind of an ironic name. Color: Not my idea. Mapletail: HEY, IT SOUNDS LIKE GOYLE! Dawnfeather: Says the cat who also came up with "caterer". Mapletail: *sulks* Dragonpaw: Oh, is that your friend? A dumb ginger dude? Ronpaw: SAY THAT TO MY FACE, FOXDUNG! Dragonpaw: Hey, Harrypaw, wanna be friends? Harrypaw: Considering that you just insulted a cat I like, and that your character's original name means "bad dragon" and also is the same as an ancient leader who made very harsh laws, I think I'll pass. Dragonpaw: Touché. Ronpaw: Etymology is cool. Harrypaw: Hey, look, it's Hogwarts! Ronpaw: Cooooooooolll. Mcgonagallpelt: Welcome to Hogwarts. Please proceed to the Sorting Hat. Dawnfeather: Doesn't this kind of defeat the purpose of McGonagall being able to turn into a cat? Mapletail: Well, we hardly managed to get her in there at all. Ivyleaf: I feel insulted. Dawnfeather: Later, at dinner... Dumbledorestar: Welcome to Hogwarts, everybody! Harrypaw: Yay! I am in GryffindorClan! Ronpaw: Well, so's Hermionepaw. *pouts* Harrypaw: And Dragonpaw is in SlytherinClan. Ronpaw: Yum. Food. Mapletail: Later, outside the GryffindorClan common room, er, camp, I guess... Dawnfeather: It's a camp that's really a common room. Mapletail: Okay...? Fluffypelt: Password? Percyheart: Randoma Latina Quam Colora Non Potest Putare. Mapletail: Was that really Latin? Dawnfeather: Mostly. I'm not quite sure about "Randoma". Mapletail: Back to the plot. An indefinite amount of time later, commence class montage. Mcgonagallpelt: So now you can all try and turn your needles into taquitos. Hermionepaw: I thought you couldn't turn stuff into food. Mcgonagallpelt: May I remind you that this is a spoof? Hermionepaw: Oh, right. Nevillepaw: *waves wand* Needle: *explodes* Nevillepaw: Oops. Squirrelshade: Defense Against the Dark Arts is very important. Harrypaw: Why do you have an iguana? Squirrelshade: No reason. Whiteflick: Today we're going to make stuff fly. Like feathers. Harrypaw: Are those from Otterleap's feather collection? Larkbright: Maybe. Jayspirit: Well, just make sure you put them back. Larkbright: OK. Hermionepaw: *waves wand* All feathers: *fly up in the air* Harrypaw: Well, that takes care of the problem. Dawnfeather: Why did we cast Heavystep as Flitwick? Mapletail: He's old. Plus, it's sort of an unsaid law of spoofs that they have to have Heavystep in them. Dawnfeather: True. Snakeclaw: Ten points from GryffindorClan for being late, Harrypaw. Harrypaw: But-- Snakeclaw: Five more points from GryffindorClan for saying but. Harrypaw: *upshuts* Snakeclaw: Five extra points from GryffindorClan for existing. Hagrid: Hi again, Harrypaw. Harrypaw: My life stinks again. Hagrid: That's unfortunate. Ronpaw: Hey, look! Filthfur! Filchfur: That's Filchfur to you! Harrypaw: Quick! Into the forbidden hallway to hide! Ronpaw: Why can't we just go in there? *points to random broom closet* Harrypaw: Plot development. Ronpaw: Oh, right. *follows Harrypaw* Hermionepaw: Hey, I exist too! Harrypaw: Why are you here? Hermionepaw: Plot development. Ronpaw: Hey, look! A three-headed dog! Dog's first head: Scoot over, Spiderleg! You're stepping on my tail! Dog's second head: Shh! You're ruining the moment! Dog's third head: At least get off his tail. Dog's second head: Fine, Foxleap. Harrypaw: You guys again? Dog's first head: Well, SOMEBODY--*glares incriminatingly at Mapletail*--thought, for some STRANGE reason, that it would be funny to cast us as all the big animals. Dog's second head: Yeah, they've already hired us out to be the basilisk in the second book. Dog's first head: And the Hungarian Horntail in the fourth book. Dog's second head: Let's just hope there aren't any monsters in the fifth book. Dog's third head: Shut up, you guys! Act like a big dog! Three-headed dog: GRRRRRRRRR! Ronpaw: RUN! All three: *run* Nevillepaw: OH NO! I dropped my remembrall down the stairs! And then the staircase moved! Harrypaw: I'll save it! *catches remembrall on broom* Woodflight: Hey, Harrypaw, that was epicness! Wanna play Quidditch? Harrypaw: Sure! Ronpaw: Wait! We have to save Hermionepaw from that troll first! Troll: ROAAAARRR! Hermionepaw: AAAAHH! Ronpaw: *drops big stick on troll* Harrypaw: Well, that takes care of the problem. Hermionepaw: Thanks. Hey, wanna be friends? Harrypaw: Sure, why not? Woodflight: Hey! We need to play Quidditch now! Harrypaw: Okay. GryffindorClan and SlytherinClan: *play Quidditch* Hermionepaw: *sets teachers on fire* Harrypaw: *catches Snitch* Well, that takes care of the problem. Ronpaw: You say that a lot. Harrypaw: I'm determined to have a tagline. Ronpaw: MERRY CHRISTMAS! Harrypaw: But it's only November! Runningheart: You're the victim of a TIME SKIP! Mapletail: Shift! Runningheart: *shifts* Harrypaw: *opens present* Ronpaw: Hey, look, it's an invisibility cloak! Now we can go break all the school rules! Harrypaw: Yay! *noms taquitos* Ronpaw: Where did you get the taquitos? Harrypaw: Leftover from Transfiguration. Hermionepaw gave them to me. Ronpaw: Why didn't you eat your own taquitos? Harrypaw: They tasted sort of metallic. Now I'm going to try and find out what's going on with the three-headed dog! Ronpaw: Why would you want to find that out? Harrypaw: Plot development. Ronpaw: Oh. That makes sense. Hermionepaw: I think it's guarding something. Ronpaw: Why? Hermionepaw: It was standing on a trapdoor that said "Top Secret Valuable Item, Do Not Enter." Ronpaw: Oh. Hermionepaw: Oh, and I think Snakeclaw's stealing it. Ronpaw: Why? Hermionepaw: Because he's limping. I bet the dog got him. Ronpaw: Wasn't that because he dropped a cauldron on his foot? Hermionepaw: Oh, right. Oops. Well, the script says that we think he's stealing it. Harrypaw: Oh, let's go, then! Hermionepaw: Hey, look, it's a baby dragon! Baby dragon: Hi. I'm Norbert. Ronpaw: Go away, Norbert. *chucks* Norbert: *flies away* Harrypaw: Well, that takes care of the problem. Snakeclaw: Ten points from GryffindorClan because I feel like it. Harrypaw: Aah! Snakeclaw! Let's go! Dog: WOOF! GRRRRRR! Harrypaw: Hey, big dog-- Dog: It's Fluffy. Harrypaw: Okay, Fluffy. Will you let us through? Dog's first head: Well, I'm fed up with this stupid dog costume. Dog's second head: Bumblestripe, you're squashing me. Dog's first head: See what I mean? So yes, you can go. Harrypaw: Yay. *jumps down trapdoor* Ronpaw: *plays chess* Hermionepaw: *sets random things on fire* Harrypaw: Ooh, look, a pretty rock! Squirrelshade: Not so fast! Ronpaw: Really? That's the best you got? Dawnfeather: Not now, Lionpelt. We'll get to that one in a few episodes. Lionpelt: *pouts* Harrypaw: Squirrelshade? Why do you want the pretty rock? Voleymort: *is duct taped to Squirrelshade* Muahaha! I am on the stage at last! Harrypaw: Tigerstar? Voleymort: That's Lord Voleymort to you! Squirrelshade: Kill him fast, will you, Harrypaw? It's getting annoying being duct taped to him. Harrypaw: My pleasure. *claws at Voleymort* Voleymort: *disintegrates* Harrypaw: Well, that takes care of the problem. Squirrelflight: Thanks. Could you do me a favor and not duct tape me to anybody ever again? Mapletail: Oh sure. Squirrelflight: *poofs* Mapletail: This doesn't mean we can't hire her again, right? Dawnfeather: Of course not. Mapletail: *evil grin* Harrypaw: Cool, I got a pretty rock. Rock: *disintegrates* Harry: Aww man. Dumbledorestar: Hey Harrypaw, want an earwax-flavored jelly bean? Harrypaw: I'll pass. Mapletail: And so they saved everybody. Again. Cloudedsky: Well, technically that was only the first time. Dawnfeather: The End. Audience: *claps* Dawnfeather: This has been a special JUDS Presents episode. See you next time! Mapletail: They're all special, you old fool! Graystripe: ...Hey, why didn't I get a part like they said? Cast (in order of appearance) Director/Narrator: Dawnfeather Assistant Director/Narrator: Mapletail Harrypaw: Jayspirit Uncle Fernon: Rainfern Aunt Petunia: Nightcloud Dudley: Breezepaw Hagrid: Flamechaser Hedwigwing: Cherrykit Ronpaw: Lionpelt Gingykit: Brightfire Friedpaw and Gorgepaw: Splashrain and Berrystorm Hermionepaw: Cloudedsky Dragonpaw: Snowstrike Crabpaw: Tigerfoot Goldypaw: Kestrelclaw Mcgonagallpelt: Ivyleaf Dumbledorestar: Crookedstar Fluffypelt: Sunsong Percyheart: Beechtail Nevillepaw: Petalstorm Squirrelshade: Squirrelflight Whiteflick: Heavystep Snakeclaw: Flamestone Filchfur: Muddyglaze Fluffy: Bumblestripe, Spiderleg, and Foxleap Norbert: Dewkit with a Rainwhisker's Awesome Jetpack Voleymort: Tigerstar Seamuspaw: Graystripe
