God was playing with action figures. “You’ll never defeat me, GI Joe, for I am Twilight Spar-” He looked up from his toys, and with an embarrassed chuckle, stuffed them behind his back. “Oh, is it time already?” He whispered to an angel, who confirmed of this fact. He stood up from his throne. “Ahem. JOHN WALSH, I BAN YOU FROM THIS DIMENSION FOR ETERNITY! NOT FOR YOUR CRIMES, HOWEVER, BUT BECAUSE I HAVE NOT DONE THIS IN A WHILE AND I WANTED TO. NOW, DOWN TO THE PITS OF HELL WITH YOU.” He sat back down, pulled out the action figures he was playing with before, and started making “Pew Pew!” Noises. John Walsh was being escorted down to hell in a taxi cab. “Where are we going?” He asked. “To Hell, dummy.” An angel replied. A lot of alive humans stared in awe as the cab made its way down through the sky and down a cave, for they saw it as a blue light. Indeed it was, but up close it was a taxi cab with no wheels. “This is the gate of hell, through platypusmouth cave?!” John asked. “Normally we take the DMV route, but it’s daytime right now.” Replied an angel. They entered a giant cave, that actually was the entire inside of the earth, except for the core, which was hovering in the middle. “So, that’s the core?” John asked aloud. “Yep. You humans got it all wrong. There is no mantle, or any of that stuff. See that pump station over there? That’s Mt. Saint Helens. They are ready to blast it again, but Pluto keeps yelling at those demons to give the humans a break.” Replied the angel. “Oh.” John replied, but was zoning out, admiring the sheer size of the earth. The taxi headed for a small floating island with a normal two story house. They landed in the half-broken driveway. A tall guy came walking out of the house. He went straight towards the angel. “Thank you for not landing on my lawn this time, Steve.” He addressed the driver, who was now seen clearly, and he was wearing a dark grey cloak, and was holding a scythe and driving at the same time. The man walked toward John. “Ah, John Walsh. I was expecting you. Tom- I mean, God gave me a ring to let me know that you were coming. Come on in!” and he ushered John towards the house. Inside the house, he was in the living room. In the corner stood a big squishy chair. The tall man sat down on it. “You might know this seat as the Throne of Satan. And I won a bet several millennium ago with my brothers, you’ll meet them soon, and I get to sit in the chair. My name is Lucifer Morningstar.” “So… You’re satan?” John asked. “Yep. Angel of darkness, that’s me, Lord of the underworld, you’ve got the right guy.” He said calmly as he wormed his way upside-down in his chair. “Here come my brothers. They are twins, I am older than them.” Two tall guys like him, but a slightly different head shape, popped out of a doorway in succession. One of them had a gaming headset on, and the other had an Xbox controller in his hand. “Hi!” Both said simultaneously. “I’m Hades!” said the one with the headset. “I’m Pluto,” Said the one with a controller in his hand. “Nice... to meet you.” Said John hesitantly. “Pleasure.” The brothers said. Hades had a british accent, and Pluto had a canadian accent. “So… You two are the gods Hades and Pluto, correct?” “Yep.” They both said. A large three-headed dog bounded in, and started sniffing the heck out of John. It was a golden retriever. “Hee hee! Sweet dog!” Laughed John. “Yep. everybody on the surface thinks it’s some black dog of death and doom, but he really is a sweetie. He’s Hades’.” Said Pluto, pointing to Hades. “So, as I was saying, I am not some horned vampire goat thing, I am just… me. Though I do find the Gary Larson’s depictions of me quite funny. I would totally do that to a salesman.” Said Lucifer. “Have any relatives?” Asked John. “Yep. Poseidon and Neptune are our respective cousins, But they don’t come down here much, they complain it’s too hot.” Explained Hades. Lucifer walked over to a couch, sat down, and flipped on the TV. A picture of a hot air balloon with a lizard and a purple horse appeared on the screen, along with a song. “My little pony, My little pony, Ah-Ah-Ah-AH…” “So… you like MLP?!” Asked John. “Yep. We all do. This is a Brony household.” Replied Lucifer as he watched Rainbow Dash read a book, and realize she was an ‘Egghead’. “The dorms are fairly near here. Ask Steve, or Death, to taxi you there. He might be busy, considering thousands of salesmen die every hour.” Said Lucifer. John made his way toward the door. “And, Before you leave, you are welcome to visit us, and also, Welcome to Hell.” Said Lucifer. “Thanks, and I will!” Replied John as he got inside the taxi and flew off to the dorm building. John Walsh was being escorted down to hell in a taxi cab. “Where are we going?” He asked. “To Hell, dummy.” An angel replied. A lot of alive humans stared in awe as the cab made its way down through the sky and down a cave, for they saw it as a blue light. Indeed it was, but up close it was a taxi cab with no wheels. “This is the gate of hell, through platypusmouth cave?!” John asked. “Normally we take the DMV, but it’s daytime right now.” Replied an angel. They entered a giant cave, that actually was the entire inside of the earth, except for the core, which was hovering in the middle. “So, that’s the core?” John asked aloud. “Yep. You humans got it all wrong. There is no mantle, or any of that stuff. See that pump station over there? That’s Mt. Saint Helens. They are ready to blast it again, but Pluto keeps yelling at those demons to give the humans a break.” Replied the angel. “Oh.” John replied, but was zoning out, admiring the sheer size of the earth. The taxi headed for a small floating island with a normal two story house. They landed in the half-broken driveway. A tall guy came walking out of the house. He went straight towards the angel. “Thank you for not landing on my lawn this time, Steve.” He addressed the driver, who was now seen clearly, and he was wearing a dark grey cloak, and was holding a scythe and driving at the same time. The man walked toward John. “Ah, John Walsh. I was expecting you. Tom- I mean, God gave me a ring to let me know that you were coming. Come on in!” and he ushered John towards the house. Inside the house, he was in the living room. In the corner stood a big squishy chair. The tall man sat down on it. “You might know this seat as the Throne of Satan. And I won a bet several millennium ago with my brothers, you’ll meet them soon, and I get to sit in the chair. My name is Lucifer Morningstar.” “So… You’re satan?” John asked. “Yep. Angel of darkness, that’s me, Lord of the underworld, you’ve got the right guy.” He said calmly as he wormed his way upside-down in his chair. “Here come my brothers. They are twins, I am older than them.” Two tall guys like him, but a slightly different head shape, popped out of a doorway in succession. One of them had a gaming headset on, and the other had an Xbox controller in his hand. “Hi!” Both said simultaneously. “I’m Hades!” said the one with the headset. “I’m Pluto,” Said the one with a controller in his hand. “Nice... to meet you.” Said John hesitantly. “Pleasure.” The brothers said. Hades had a british accent, and Pluto had a canadian accent. “So… You two are the gods Hades and Pluto, correct?” “Yep.” They both said. A large three-headed dog bounded in, and started sniffing the heck out of John. It was a golden retriever. “Hee hee! Sweet dog!” Laughed John. “Yep. everybody on the surface thinks it’s some black dog of death and doom, but he really is a sweetie. He’s Hades’.” Said Pluto, pointing to Hades. “So, as I was saying, I am not some horned vampire goat thing, I am just… me. Though I do find the Gary Larson’s depictions of me quite funny. I would totally do that to a salesman.” Said Lucifer. “Have any relatives?” Asked John. “Yep. Poseidon and Neptune are our respective cousins, But they don’t come down here much, they complain it’s too hot.” Explained Hades. Lucifer walked over to a couch, sat down, and flipped on the TV. A picture of a hot air balloon with a lizard and a purple horse appeared on the screen, along with a song. “My little pony, My little pony, Ah-Ah-Ah-AH…” “The dorms are fairly near here. Ask Steve, or Death, to taxi you there. He might be busy, considering thousands of salesmen die every hour.” Said Lucifer. John made his way toward the door. “And, Before you leave, you are welcome to visit us, and also, Welcome to Hell.” Said Lucifer. “Thanks, and I will!” Replied John as he got inside the taxi and flew off to the dorm building.
I had fun writing this. Should I make a sequel? Prequel? Approx. Time to make: 30 - 45 min. 4 @tagggz . (Tags) WUT I always wanted to write a story like this. Lazy cover is lazy.
