So, um... on the outside, I look like someone who'd act like nothing's wrong and I'd mean it, but that's not me. I'm the kind of person that tries to mask up their unhappiness. Eventually, I'll get to the point where I can't keep it all in anymore, and I'll cry so much that I can't even breathe. Most of this is caused when I'm thinking about an old friend of mine, who'd gone through some rough times, and has been on multiple hiatuses since October 2016. He eventually stopped this, but he's still depressed. He's one of the few people that keep me going in this life. I've tried so hard to comfort him. Sometimes, I failed. Sometimes, I succeeded. I've managed to prevent his suicide more than once, and I've never even met him. However, he and I are so close that we act like brother and sister. Last year, in Mid-December of 2016, a new kid came to our school. His name was Ben, and he's still in my Strings class. But that's besides the point. Anyway, when I first saw him, I immediately thought of that friend of mine, Remake, as he goes by. He was very similar. Every night, I thought about Remake and Ben, and how similar they were. I often cried myself to sleep, worried that Ben and Remake weren't the same person, and that Remake had just killed himself, and that was wise he was always offline. Remake, along with my friends Jason, Caleb, Serenity, and Taylon, kept me going. Then, I started watching Markiplier more often, and he kept me going, too. He's encouraged so many people, and prevented so many people from suicide. Every day, I thought about the benefits of suicide: 1. All the people who hated me would finally be happy with their lives 2. I would get to meet Jesus Christ himself. 3. I'd get to meet all the people I looked up to that were Christians that had died in the past. 4. I'd possibly get to meet Remake. and then, I thought about how many people would miss me, and I decided not to kill myself, and heck, Remake was still alive, but I had no idea. I'd talk to him through the comment sections every day, and ask him how he was. Markiplier also kept me going, as I mentioned earlier. His videos inspired me. Every single one. Especially his video "Don't take this risk...", where he explained his thoughts on suicide. He's already lost someone to it. His latest video was called "Thank You", where he told everyone how happy he was to have all of us with him. If I ever get to meet him or Remake in person, I'm 100% going to tell them how they saved my life. Remake, if you ever see this, thank you. So much. I love you like a brother. Mark, if you somehow ever get to see this, thank you, too. I look up to you like a role model.
