for once, nobody triggered this... but now... I'm completely broken... Lonely... nobody hears me... they ignore me... they think I'm just loud, childish, naive, but... they don't know that the real me... she broke long ago... there's no turning back to rebuild something so shattered... that it cannot be repaired, no matter how hard you try... there's not even a point in trying to type this... nobody ever listens... but i type... this kinda started happening from nothing... then things are going on... both on scratch... and in real life... adding to my pain... and this song is the most fitting song for my life... I wish it was like back in 2004... no bullies... no pain... no knowledge of anything about reality... when my older sister actually cared about me... when people could have a heart... now there's only emptiness... no matter how long I wait... no matter how much I try to persevere... no matter how much I hold on to my hopes and dreams... nothing changes... the more I live on... the more hope I try to gain... the more I live on... the more hopeless the world becomes... Also... it's my fault, isn't it? It's my fault... As soon as I came on scratch in 2015 on@imawesomerthanyou... everything here plummeted... friendships broke quicker than they were made... false reporters found opportunities on the accounts of others... I'm the problem... aren't I? you can't convince me to turn back... I already know it's an excuse... I already know you're lying... I need to leave temporarily... Maybe... Maybe I'll see you in a few months... Maybe it'll take longer... But my shadow isn't the effect of light... mine is emptiness... my darkness trapped within my heart... I need to find who I really am inside... I need to know the truth... no... I need a truth of the world that doesn't clash with my ideal world... a world in which humans are more than emptiness... a world where the truth doesn't hurt... a world where there are no secrets, no wars... a world of peace... that's my ideal world... but it'll never happen until we fill our hearts...
every. time. i. talk. about. my. flipping. ideal. world. it. gets. emotional. why?! also i did not make the sketch of the crying girl. i got it from google. credit to whoever made it. but to be honest, this is an experiment. I'm gonna see how well scratch is without me. if it gets worse, I'll stay. If it gets better, I'll try again. But if it gets worse after I return, i'll go off. if it happens like that the third time, I'm deleting my four accounts. I'll probably make a new one and start over. I think it's for the better, anyways...
