Here is the script if you couldn't understand some of the things I said: Hey everybody, your favorite researcher fueled by Google here. Have you ever wanted to grill a steak on hot, boiling magma? No? Well, too bad, because I’m gonna be rating how well-grilled foods can be when grilled on magma on a scale of 1-10. Not ranked as last time. That was too chaotic. But first, this episode is brought to you by RAID SHADOW LEGEN—okay, no, I’m joking, calm down. It’s actually brought to you by... uh... Asbestos Oven Mitts™. Yeah. Totally real. Definitely not something I just made up while staring at the wall, wondering how to cook a hot dog over molten rock without becoming a human s'more. “Asbestos Oven Mitts: Protecting your glass-like-type-of-fragile hands from your stove's wrath since... uh...now. (SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE SKIN CANCER, HYPOTHERMIA, VAPORIZATION, AND THE CRUSHING REALIZATION THAT THESE MITTS DO NOT EXIST.)” Marshmallows: Let’s start with a camp classic: Marshmallows. Magma at its peak is 1,300 degrees Celsius. A marshmallow melts at 35 degrees Celsius. Let’s say I put it on the magma for a single second. For a second, the marshmallow would burn to ashes, maybe even less. I’m rating this from 1 to 10 on how edible the food is after being on the magma, but this, this is beyond 1. This is 0. Hot Dogs: Next up, Hot Dogs. Hot Dogs melt at 62 degrees Celsius because apparently Glizzies can melt. Yeah, if you grill it in magma, even if it’s for a single second, it would just be a lump of ash. 1. Fish: Next up is a beach-day special that isn’t ice cream, Fish. Fish melt at 55 degrees Celsius, because again, Salmon apparently melts. So it’s slightly worse than Hot Dogs. 1. A Frozen Burrito: (Oh God…) Next is a specifically frozen burrito because a usual Taco Bell burrito isn’t unhinged enough for these podcasts. A normal burrito burns at 74 degrees Celsius. Which means when putting a [frozen] burrito on magma for a second, it will explode. It will also be badly burned. You might get sick trying to eat it. 4. Pop-Tarts: Next are Pop-Tarts. Flavor? Yes. Pop-Tarts are pre-baked, so you can’t just shove them in the microwave at 7,000 degrees. So, let’s just say this Pop-Tart is not baked yet. An unbaked Pop-Tart burns at (in a shocked voice) 177 DEGREES CELSIUS!?!? DANG. (in a normal voice) Well…uh…If you put an unbaked Pop-Tart in magma for a second, it should be kind of burned. 7. Flake Chocolate: Next is Flake Chocolate because, well, why not? Flake Chocolate burns at 31 degrees Celsius because it literally can’t melt. So it being on magma just dissolves like it was Thanos-snapped. -5. Lego: Next is a singular LEGO piece, and I don’t even need to say anything; this isn’t even edible. The only thing you do with it is step on it and die inside. 0. Also, thanks to @PlasticEnjoyer32 for suggesting this abomination of a food. I’m not mad. Just…concerned. Lighting Round: Now, before the last one, I would like to do a LIGHTNING ROUND. So, here we go! Cake: I don’t think it will exist after touching the magma. 1/10. Corn (Will it turn to popcorn?): Most likely, even though it may be burned. 5/10. Ice Cream: Ha. No. Evaporated/10. Glue: Why? Just-why? Unedible/10. Cheese: AH!!! AH! HOT! HOT!!! 6/10!!! AHH!!! And that was the lighting round! Hope you liked it! Make sure to buy lava cheese! - The snack that screams back! Steak: And last but not least, a whole rotisserie chicken! *Jerry walks in and makes Jerry noises* Huh? *Jerry noises* What did you say, Jerry? *Jerry noises* We…We ran out!? *Jerry noises* And we only have steak… *Jerry noises* Okay, you can go now. *Jerry exits* Okay, scratch that, we’re doing Steak now. Steak burns at 150 degrees Celsius. And if you put it in 1,300 degrees Celsius Magma, it will be cooked perfectly (except it may be a bit burned). The best one for last. 9/10, would eat here again. Welp, that was all. Have a good day, and goodbye! (BLOOPERS) Blooper 1 (testing mic): ……..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Yup, it works. Blooper 2: Next is a singular LEGO piece, and I don’t even need to say anything, this isn’t even edible. The only thing you do with it is step inside and die inside. What? *laughs* Blooper 3: *smashing sound effects* Animal Abuse. I love it. Blooper 4: Next is a singular LEBO piece- LEBO? What’s LEBO? Special Thanks: Asbestos Oven Mitts Lava Cheese Raid Shadow Legends. We tried, but Jerry said no. Jerry Coming Next Episode: Whatever the next game jam's theme is gonna be. I don’t know. You don’t know. Jerry might know, but he’s not talking. Please stay tuned.
