yea so I've got too much to focus on right now I'm really disappointed in myself right now and that's making everything worse. I already have so much to deal with, my stepdad/mom having COMPLETELY different opinions than me (homophobic and stuff), myself, school grades, my "friends" who GENUINELY HURT me, etc but one of the worst of all is band. don't get me wrong, I love band, but most of the time I'm stressed, scared, or disappointed like I am now I learned today I made middle band, symphonic, you might say "but that's great! symphonic doesnt mean your bad!" but for some reason I hate it, I really wish I made top band. but I didn't. I'm really hard on myself when it comes to things I try really hard at, and when I get 'average' or 'okay' It sucks, it makes me hate my skills, and make me think I'm not good enough. which is why I'm saying this, I want to get better at band, so I'm taking a hiatus, I will probably be on Toyhouse more than here, but still not as much, I need to practice marching, my instrument, and music, all region, concerts, stand tunes, all that, to hopefully get top band anyways that's all I guess I might come back, but I think I should stay off here for a while to "recover"
