-you're on your own, kid- sun was free. as soon as the sun rose on the third day of being a prisoner, they jumped to their feet, running for the camp exit without another word. urchinclan was a nightmare - being there only solidified sun's hatred of the place, and they sighed with relief as they crossed into the unclaimed territories, and felt familiar, soft grass under their paws instead of lumpy sand and rough stone. they headed towards their home, where they lived with ma and their sisters, much less quickly, though still at a brisk pace, excited to be back. a genuine smile broke out onto their face - but it was quickly replaced with a small, slightly puzzled frown. something was...wrong. the scent trail they were following back to their den - it was different. and they knew why. one scent was missing. -you always have been- they knew what had happened as soon as their brain processed who's scent had disappeared, and dread filled their stomach. all they wanted to do was turn and run away before they could confirm this, to live in blissful ignorance, never knowing what had actually happened. but their paws still pushed them forward, forward, forward until they nearly tripped over what they knew would be waiting for them, but desperately hoped wouldn't be. shell-lily, their wonderful ma, sprawled out in front of them. dead. all emotion on sun's face disappeared - total blankness filling their blue eyes, not a single twitch of their ginger tail to give a clue at an emotion other than calm nothingness. but you could see it in their shoulders, their rigid stance. so tight it seemed that they were about to break, shatter into a million pieces. for the second time. sun was an orphan now - after calla had died, shell-lily was all they had left. what were they going to do now? -you're on your own, kid- though sun was quite self-assured and prided themself on their capability and independence, they were too intelligent and realistic of a cat to know that it would be impossible to survive without ma. while they were a skilled kit, yes, they were only a kit - they didn't know how to hunt and fight. for their entire life, mother and ma had protected and cared for them. they simply wouldn't be able to do it on their own - they'd die. and sun certainly wasn't ready to die. they had to think of a solution. -yeah, you can face this- an idea came to them, but sun hated it so much they nearly pushed it away, before grabbing on to the tip of its tail and pulling it back. it was the only one they had, after all, as much as they despised it with all their being. they could become a kittypet. have twolegs care for them for the rest of their kithood. and then, of course, they would go back to being a loner. this new life would not be for long. that was the thought they reminded themself, over and over in their mind, as they padded for twolegplace, casting one last glance over their shoulder at their sleeping littermates. they would tell them of this decision later. and then sun would be back before they'd know it. they just needed to survive another moon. this new life would not be for long. that was the the thought they reminded themself, over and over in their mind, as they padded up to the first twolegs they saw, putting on their sweet, honey-like smile and wide, innocent, needy eyes. letting out a soft mew, and smiling as they watched it work, watched as the twolegs decided to take them in, bringing them back to their little twoleg den. sun could be /very/ charming and adorable when they needed to be. they got a feel for the place, eventually curling up on this soft nest-like thing and closing their eyes, exhausted by the day. -you're on your own, kid- i'll be back, shine. i'll be back, anglerfish. but i'm on my own now. we all are. mother and ma were no longer here to take care of us - we must take care of ourselves. in any way we can. and i'm going to take care of myself. -you always have been-
