I need to stop. I need to stop being so paranoid and worried and sad. It's not helping my relationships or my mental health of course, then that makes it worse... It's just a continuous cycle... I get sad, I express that too much, then I make others sad and myself even sadder and that, quite frankly, doesn't help. Even this project is just going to make it worse... Anyone who reads this with a heart will most likely get sad, so I will from that but I'll also get sad because I'm having to put this out there because there's no one else to go to... Plus I'll get sad from typing all this. And I wish I could stop being so... emotional but I just CAN'T. And then I get frustrated and then I make someone else frustrated because of that which then saddens me. You see? A continuous cycle... I don't want to be like this. I want to be happy... Come to think of it, I haven't been truly happy in ages... honestly, I'd rather no one sees this almost. But then... would I get sad from feeling alone... I'm just lost...
I need more things to cheer me up... distract me from... my feelings...
