i just can't anymore. it's already so hard to just wake up every morning, go to school, do my homework, and everything. i'm being so pressured by my parents to do better than everyone else, to beat everyone at everything, and it's stressful. it's getting to the point where it's hard to feel happy for anyone else if they get a better grade than me, because i'm always being told that if i'm not the best, then i'm not good enough. i started crying over an assignment this morning because i couldn't master the skill no matter how hard i tried. and then there's being on scratch. i want to keep up with it, but there's this guilt when you don't share things or check your messages, and it's just getting so hard... i feel like no one's supportive of me anymore, and that i'm just a bother to everyone i talk to. even my friends are tired of me. i'm always so worried about everyone's opinion of me, i sometimes pretend to be someone i'm not just to get along with different people... especially people i'm not close to, like the popular girls... my parents wouldn't get it, and so i have no one to talk to. whenever i try to talk to them about friendship problems, they just tell me that i should be friends with my books, or that i should just get rid of them. but no, it's not that simple. it's really hard being alone in the 6th grade, and even if i have problems with my friends, i'm not going to cut them off entirely. they're still gonna be my friend... let's not even start about the problems and misunderstandings and absolute despair going on between me and my best friend. and it's all my fault. she's mad at me, and it's my fault, i can't do better than everyone else, and it's my fault, i can't seem to find the motivation to stay alive, and it's all my fault. at least, that's what everyone tells me, that's what my best friends tell me, so that's what i'm going to believe.
