OH MY GOD I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH I HATE GOING THROUGH THE SAME LOOP OF FEELING NEUTRAL THEN FEELING HORRIBLE JUST BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE NO ONE KNOWS IM HERE AND DONT GIVE ME THAT ohh but we care about you YOUR ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU DONT WANNA HEAR ME IF YOU DONT WANNA HEAR ME THEN LEAVE ME ALONE PEOPLE SAYING ohh don't say that or we care for you man THEN WHY HAS THIS LOOP BEEN GOING ON FOR LITERAL WEEKS BUT YET ITS LIKE THE ONLY WAY TO BE KNOWN IS TO MAKE WEIRD THINGS SAY WIERD THINGS LIKE OO IM FREAKY OR JUST BE IN A PLACE THAT HAS REQUIREMENTS FOR YOU TO BE IN IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I DONT MATTER WHY DO I EVEN TRY the only people that made me feel like I matter in a while is my friends I had before I couldn't reach out to them anymore not saying I didn't have good moments here I met a lot of people who seem nice but its just weird how people just continuously lie saying oh you're underrated oh you're really nice its like and me being lonely within friendship range and relationship range is just really painful I really hate this feeling I just wish history didn't repeat itself for me
it feel this constant pain in my chest that I hate its just unbearable idrc if anyone sees this or not because its just gonna be the same messages over and over and over please be honest with me instead of trying to get my hope s up I don't want to repeat an incident were my friends all secretly didn't like me and didn't tell me for some reason or some of my other friends talking behind my back were cool now and talking isn't going to fix anything
