"I just want everything to be normal again!" That's what I'd say, but the definition of "normal" is continuously fluctuating. Is it when I had the best of times, but lied into those times? Is it when I was able to do anything I wanted without much fear of what would happen? It's funny how I'm still depressed about this. I mean, I should’ve gotten over it by now, considering it seems that everyone else has, but I haven’t. All of this was centered around me. [I wish more things were centered around me, but not this.] I’m not there anymore. I will never be there. All traces of me will be wiped permanently. I feel forgotten. I feel like I can’t do anything. I just want to go back to better times. If I wasn’t forgotten, then I’ll be remembered as the person who cheated their way into a site that they shouldn’t have been on. Life still moves on without me. Everyone will keep doing things and making adopts. Everyone will go on mags without me. Everyone will forget that I’ve ever been on that site. I shouldn’t be depressed over this, but yet here we are. It would be funny if I expected anything out of anyone anymore. I’ve lied to your face! You wouldn’t give anything to a liar, would you? And even then, I still want more. I feel greedy, in a way. I believe that I deserve something. But I don’t. Rationally, I don’t deserve anything. My expungement was completely deserved, and I should not try going back. But it still makes me sad. I still wish for more. But who gives any care about that? I still wish we could all talk about lore and stories and make art together. I guess not. Maybe I should make a new story that will captivate everyone I know. I don’t like the adopts community all that much anymore. Why are we owning colorful characters that cost more than they should? It doesn’t make sense. I mean, maybe I’ll drop an adopt every now and then, but that’s because I’m friends with people who make adopts. Honestly it would be nice to just talk to a person for once. Everyone else is too busy, though. Lucky me, I guess… How miserable I am.
