tw: vent. I remember always feeling the need to comfort you. no matter what. yet, you were insistent on pushing away my attempts. it's almost as if you were purposefully making it feel like I wasn't worthy of your care. almost like you were trying to make me constantly want to comfort you, despite it being your responsibilty to have comforted me at that age when I needed it. almost like you wanted me to feel desperate for your attention. like you believed you were a goddess. notice how, back then, I was a girl. you thought I was your sweet little princess, didn't you? if you ever even thought about me. I know you certainly didn't care for my needs. all you wanted was to satiate yourself. occasionally, you'd show a bit of care for me. it was strange whenever you would. it would be like you suddenly remembered what you were supposed to do as a mother. do you ever feel that now? my brother says you do things for him. is it all just a show, to jab at me and my father? is it for status? I know it's not genuine. and i'm waiting for the day that he will realize it too. he's going through the same things you did to me, likely. feeling the constant need to make you happy. to get some sort of actual care out of you. i'm mad at myself for not being able to make the days pass by faster. I suppose he'll have to notice it on his own agenda, then. you certainly won't be any help. do you even know you're like this? do you even care? i'm not your sweet little princess anymore.
I associate fire with the feeling of power. to those who need to remember that you are your own person, and you have all the power you need. you don't have to like this content. I don't care.
