i hate to make so much updates but everyday is so draining everynight i wish i dont wake up tommorow when i wake up i already know its gonna be so exhausting i dont wanna be happy like i litterally dont care at this point i just wanna go away and never come back like living is so hard like what do you even think about if youre happy all i think about is 'kay em ess' or 'i wanna go away' or just fantazing about me going away thats litterally it everyday i have to promise myself not to do it and every afternoon i plan that im gonna do it tonight but i end up not doing it i dont want my parents thinking i ended myself i wanna go away by something else that isnt ending urself so they can think i didnt kay em ess idk if im gonna post like for a long long time im gonna try and stay till the holidays but thats still such a long time so ill take it day by day oh my god the scratch filter is so strict scratch might take this down edt 24/1/25: im feeling much better :3
