As my parents drive me south, I look out my window to the chaos outside. The mountains are fighting, the trees are screeching, Nothing is in its place. This is because it has been raining for thirty one days, the clouds covering the bright orange sky where a bright blue eye we call god lies watching over us. Since it hasn't called on someone to stop the rain, I'm going to offer myself. It only takes someone with a huge amount of skill, something I don't have. But I'll prove myself to it. The desert I'm headed for is where I'll be trying to convince it that I can do this, because it's the quietest place and I need to focus. I'm pretty sure nobody has tried this. If I fail, I'll be doomed to hell forever. I watch as the chaos unfolds between the burning red mountains, and my Martian friend almost lands on them. I send them a message through my brain telling them to go back home because it's too dangerous here. I watch as the U.F.O. turns around, going back all the way over earth back to mars. Earth lost civilization only hundreds of years ago. But we could finally come out of hiding, because humans were the cruelest beings in the universe. So much was wrong with them to the point of no return at all. I'm so glad I'm Hesperus. Because Martians are just weird and humans are terrible. I feel the car come to a stop and I have to get out here. My parents ask me if I'm sure about this. "Yeah. I think I'm ready," I say. My dad gives me a look. "You think?" "Okay, fine. I know I'm ready." "That's the spirit." But he still looks nervous. "Now you go. I know you can do it. Wishing you luck." I get out of the car, growing to my most comfortable height of ten feet. Just like the winged giraffes, which I swear I live for. They're my best friends. I look out into the distance. I have to walk nine miles from here, bearing the sand getting into my eyes and the glaring creatures and spike shooting cacti. I have my protective gear on. I start heading south. Three miles in, some ways away I can see the opening to the bright orange sky. The only opening in the desert, where I'll be trying to convince god that I can take away the rain. A cactus shoots my bare skin through a tear in my protective gear that was torn into it a mile back. I bend over in pain and I hear a high frequency noise. I get over it in a second but the hole in the sky is white. That means it's been a few hours... It's nighttime. But it only felt like a few seconds that I was in pain. I try to brush it off as I keep going, but it stays on my mind like a leech. A few hours later, I'm in the center of the hole in the clouds. Right where god is lingering, not open for perception or vision. I have to wait until day time. I lay down on the sand, staring up at it. I feel myself sink into the sand, and suddenly I'm in an inverted reality. The sky is blue, there is no rain. Everything is perfect. I'm still with my parents, at home engaging in normal activities. Taking walks with the winged giraffes, not having to worry about screeching trees. I feel myself ascend and I see the reality I'm really in. The sky is bright orange, it's still raining all around me. God is watching. But something holds me back. The reality I could be in. I could be at home, safe and sound. I could be waiting for the rain to stop like everybody else. What is so special about me? What can I do? I came here knowing I have no skill. No talent. But now that my parents are counting on me, do I really have the choice to turn back? I get up and perform the dance asking for a really special permission to help stop the rain. I go on beat, performing everything I practiced. I feel a wave of peace over me. That's a good sign. God is pleased. But a sharp pain hurts my brain and whole body and before I know it I'm burning. I open my eyes to see... hell. It couldn't possibly be, right? Maybe god made a mistake. I tell myself that out loud, but I'm definitely delusional. How long will I be here for? Red and black spikes sting my skin and my eyes water for the first time in years. Is this really what god is doing to me? Maybe it wasn't even trying to stop the rain in the first place. Maybe it wasn't something good for the Hesperus. I'm trying to help it. I wanted to. But everyone seemed to be wrong about it. How do I tell them? How will they know? I don't see anyone else around but me. The spikes and flames suffocate me and it feels like a huge weight dropped onto me. I close my eyes and I hear the same high frequency noise I heard when a cactus spiked me. The world whirls and falls away, leaving my vision blank. But I'm still conscious. Just an invisible consciousness floating in a void. Will it be this way forever? Maybe. I don't know. But for now, I'm nothing. Is this what it feels like to die? To not exist?
art is by me through scratch! I had fun writing this :3 this is metaphorical, based off my existential crisis's and wild imagination
