I'm crying so much right now and I just want to let it all out now: I just HATE being 13. I hate that I had a lame childhood. I hate that I can barely remember any of it. I hate that I grew up without real friends. I hate the fact one of my favorite people are moving across the country. I hate that I can't bring my friend back from Heaven. I hate this. I just hate this all. I just hate it. I hate that middle school has made me like this. Last year I was perfectly fine, good grades, good life. Now I'm crying every single night with no one with me by my side to hold me, and now the person who knows me best and would be by my side and hold me while I cry is moving away. Why does life have to be like this? Why couldn't I stay 12 forever? I just wish I had it easier. I just want someone who could hold me, console me, tell me it's going to be ok. But I don't trust any of my irl friends to tell them about this and my boyfriend already has too much on his hands, moving and stuff. Why can't someone just take this weight off of me? Why can't I be happy all the time? Why can't I live a normal life? I've barely even had a normal life I've never been out of state, I've never had neighborhood friends and I've never been a real kid. What life was I given? My parents are even overprotective too so I barely go anywhere. I don't have strong bonds even with my best friend. I just want a perfect life like the girls that have it all: beauty, smarts, confidence. And a real life. I don't want to do this anymore. Plus I get bullied for the gap between my teeth. I just want people to stop that. But there's no stopping when it's a group of boys that won't leave me alone. I just want to be happy. Just happy. I want to be fine. But obviously I'm not. None of my irl friends know about this. I hate the fact that I can't trust anyone not on Scratch. I wish I didn't get anxiety attacks either I hate those. I need help. I don't want to do this anymore.
