have you ever thought about how, when you die, your online friends and contacts might never find out? they’ll just be left wondering why you stopped responding, why your messages went unanswered, without ever knowing what happened. it’s a strange thought—how people can drift away from your life without ever realizing you’re gone. i’m 12 years old, and most of my friends are older than me. i always felt like i had to catch up, to be a part of their world, but i made a mistake. i deleted everything—every chat, every contact—thinking i could prepare for some big “grand return.” i thought it would make everything better, like i could hit reset and start fresh. but i never even got around to doing anything. i haven’t started any of the ideas i had or worked on the things i thought would make me feel like i had a purpose. now i’m just stuck. i’m in 7th grade, and i can already feel how badly my grades are slipping because i’ve been too focused on messaging, on trying to stay in touch with people, even during school hours. i’ve lost track of what’s important, and it feels like i’m falling behind. and now, all those people i tried so hard to stay connected with? they feel distant. they don’t understand why i’ve been so off, why i’ve been distant myself. maybe i was too much to keep up with. maybe i wasn’t enough. you were right, @Liamgocomicz . i’m trying to grow up, trying to be more mature, but it’s hard. i keep telling myself that i need to act older, to be someone i’m not yet, but the truth is, i still feel like a little kid, trapped in habits and fears that i can’t seem to break. i want to change, to figure myself out, but i don’t know how. thank you, @TKBStudios @93773751G @Kymakxz @OrangyReincarnated @sonicandnoah5 @GenericProtogen for all the support you’ve given me throughout my lifetime. don’t expect much from a rigid sphere like me anymore.
