RIP Bungee <3 My cat died today. Gone. 16 years, and it still felt so short. I don't feel okay, so don't ask how I am please. I was finally getting over a boy who broke my heart, and then fate stepped in and intervened with my happiness again. I am getting bullied at my school. If one more person comes up to me in *that friend group* or someone random comments on my life again, I am calling a teen hotline. I don't feel safe anymore. Just the other day at my bus stop, there was a white van circling the area, pulling up really really close and opening the door slightly until another car was coming close, and then it would speed away and repeat the process. I got on the bus and then couldn't breathe for a few minutes. That same boy and I both have talked in a way, and we both are okay with having friendly conversation when we are around my best friend because she is friends with him too, and we both don't want to make her uncomfortable, either. I wrote 8-9 songs, and I don't know what to do with my anger and grief and sadness now. I heard that someone's father died, and I am so so so sorry to that person. I could never imagine what would happen to me if I lost a parent. I would probably break even worse than I've broken now, so I hope you feel much better. </3 I don't even know how to cope anymore. My counselor spoke with me and discussed some strategies to help me cope with anxiety inducing situations, but they don't help at all. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is, after this. My friends tell me to shut up at school. One of my best and closest friends has been gone for 2 days now, the person whom I usually open up to. I have a nickname, "The Lizard" because that's what people say I look like apparently. My greatest enemy has chosen to try to make my life as miserable as possible by taking my friends away from me by telling them lies about me, and I'm not sure who to believe anymore. I don't trust and cannot trust anyone in my life (with the exception of very few). My goal is to move schools next year, but that means I'd have to start over for the 3rd time. I don't know how much more I can take, to be honest. It's getting old, having to manage seven classes, four extracurriculars, after school choir, drama, bullying at school, people who hate me, sleep, food, maintaining what is a healthy body image and still feeling healthy, people around me leaving or dying, and scratch. Help me please.
Notes to ppl (not leaving) Cat: Cat, I love you so so much. From when we first met, you have always been supporting me. You are my best friend forever on this site and your kindness is unmatched by any other scratchers on the platform. If I leave or take a break, I trust you to spam me every day with messages filled with love and happiness, because that's who you are: A love and happiness spreader! <3 ~Ally Hammy: Oh ham sandwich. You. Are. So. Sweet. I cannot even begin to write about how much you have helped me on this platform, because I would be writing past the moon and all the stars. Love you so much! <3 ~Ally Isla: You might never see this at all, but I want to thank you, Isla, for being an amazing you. You always unite people in the community, and to say that I will miss you might be the understatement of the year. Love you and miss you, my friend. <3 ~Ally Char (@thesmallestman): You are the best, charlotte. I will forever say that, and you can't stop me because everyone knows it's true. I love you so much! <3 ~Ally Anyone reading this: You are amazing, and you should know it. Even if you weren't left an individual note, you are still someone who matters! I hope you have the best day today and tomorrow and forever. <3
