I. HAVE. JEALOUSY. ISSUES. i was just too embarassed to talk about it but this crap has gone for long enough that I NEED TO BRING IT UP. so basically, i'm a talentless creature who is only *slightly* good at art and even that i suck at. and whenever i see someone who is good at something i tried learning but failing, it makes me want to ABSOLUTELY SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. i know i'm supposed to be happy for them, but every. single. fricking. time. i come across one of these people (like for example, good at music, art, fluent in japanese, which by the way i stopped learning coz it was too hard), it triggers a deep-rooted anger in me, it makes me want to punch a wall until it hecking crashes, THAT'S HOW TALENTED PPL MAKE ME FEEL (with a few exceptions- like my friends, anyone i look up to, like, u know, vlif or smth, vlifs rlly cool yk) but yeah any talented person that ive never heard of AND is good at smth i tried doing, i just wanna walk straight up to them and insult them, yell at them, and make them question all those precious years of practice, and for ppl who are about to become talented in smth i want, i really wanna scream and yell at them to give up in practicing, make them cry, and 10 years later theyre working at mcdonald's for minimum wage instead of profiting off their talent all because of what i'd tell them. unless theyre someone i know/am friends with, i'd encourage them but if they were a complete stranger or smth i'd not just try to convince them, i'd FORCE THEM TO STOP but i won't actually do these things because that would make me a bad person, i wish i could just be happy for them i just hate people who are successful in something i’ve tried countless times to do. oh, you make art? nobody cares. oh, you know japanese? should’ve spent that time whining about learning it like me. oh, you make music? cool, now never talk to me again.
every single time i meet these kinds of ppl i try my best not to snap and it always ends up working, well at least thats good
