I always feel like I mess something up still...I...I can not take it anymore I do not what to anymore I can not control my actions or emotions I feel like a puppet with strings something I can not escape....I am in pain mentally that is I am stressed because I am to worried about dream and whenever i try to contact her she does not respond or tell me to leave her alone I feel like I messed up....I...I....I need some time...I just need her and I do not know...I need someone anyone to share my problems with without being hurt by others I feel useless I can not even solve one problem...and its not well with my school ethier the bullying keeps getting worse and worse and it is not helping...I wish that I can help more...I wish I was not a mistake....I wish I was normal.....I hate how I am.....I can not even handle my illusions on my own...ugh....I fear that I have been such a bad partner and a friend to everyone I can not take this any longer.....
