ah summer break so do you want cheese on that honey time for leisure recreation and taking er easy unless youre me AAAAAAAAAAA AAAA AAHHH its getting closer AAAAAAAA AAAHHH my name is dipper the girl about to puke is my sister mabel you may be wondering what were doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror look out AAA AAAAAAAAAHHH rest assured there's a perfectly logical explation *theme song* AAAAA- let rewind it all began when our parents decided that we needed some fresh air they shipped us up north to a sleepy town called gravity falls oregon to stay at our great uncles house in the woods this attic is amazing check out all my splinters baaa and there's a goat on my bed hey friend oh yes you can keep chewing on my sweater hahaha my sister tended to look on the bright side of things yay grass but I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings BOO AAAH ahaha and then there was our great uncle stan that guy ahahaha *cough cough* worth it our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called the mystery shack the real mystery was why anyone came ladies and gentlemen behold the *apparently scratch thought this was a bad word* woah wow woah oh my and guess who had to work there *sigh* *slap* don't be touching the merchindise it looked like it was going to be the same boring routine all summer until one faithful day he's looking at it he's looking at it uh do you like me yes definitely absolutley I rigged it Mabel I know you're going into your whole boy crazy phase but I think you're kinda overdoing with the crazy part what *blegh* come on dipper this is our first summer away from home its my big chance to have a epic summer romance yeah but do you have to flirt with every guy you meet my name is Mabel but you can call me the girl of your dreams i'm JOKING hahaha oh my gosh you like turtles I like turtles too what is happening here come one come all to the mattress kings kingdom of savings take me with you AAA- mock all you want brother but I have a good feeling about this summer I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walks through that door right now *ta da* *burps* not good ow ough why come on look alive people I need someone to hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest not it not it uh also not it nobody asked you soos I know but I'm comfortable with that *nom nom* wendy I need you to put up this sign I would but I cant ugh reach it ugh id fire all of you if I could alright lets make it eenie meenie miney you aw what grunkle stan whenever when I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched ugh this again I'm telling you something you something weird is going on in this town just today my mosquito bites spelled out BEWARE that says bewarb look kid this whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend summed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that oh haw haw haw so quit being so parinoid *sigh* ugh grunkle stan nobody ever believes anything I say huh baaa what the *blows* its hard to believe its been six years since I began studying strange and wonderous secrets of gravity falls oregen what is all this unfortunally my suspicions have been confirmed I'm being watched I must hide this book before he finds it remember in gravity falls there is no one you can trust no one you can trust HELLO AAAA UHH watcha reading some nerd thing uhh its nothing uh uh its nothing haha are you actually not gonna show me uhh lets go somewhere private its amazing grunkle stan said I was being parinoid but according to this book gravity falls has this secret dark side woah shut up and get this after a certain point the pages just stop like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared *ding dong* who's that well time to spill the beans *boop* beans this girls got a date woot woot heheheh let me get this straight in the half hour I was gone you already found a boyfriend what can I say guess I'm just irresistable *ding dong* *ding dong* oh coming watcha reading there slick oh I was just catching up on gold chains for old men magazine that's a good issue hey family say hello to my new boyfriend sup hey hows it hanging we met at the cementary he's really deep oh little muscle there that's what a surprise so whats your name uh normal man he means norman are you bleeding norman its jam huh I love jam look at this so do you wanna hold hands whatever oh oh my goodness don't wait up there was something about norman that wasn't right I decided to consult the journal known for their pale skin and bad attitude these creatures are often mistaken for teenagers beware gravity falls nifarious sup ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE somebody say crombie what is that crombie is that even a word youre losing your mind rughh ruuughh I like you OH NO MABEL NO NO MABEL WATCH OUT neughh AAH huuuh huh daisies you scallywag is my sister really dating a zombie or am I just going nuts its a dilemma to be sure AA- I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to
yourself in this empty room soos you've seen Mabel's boyfriend he's gotta be a zombie right hm how many brains did they guy eat zero look dude I believe you I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town like the mailman pretty sure that dudes a werewolf but you gotta have evidence otherwise people are gonna think you're a majorly cookoo clock as always soos youre right my wisdom is both a blessing and a curse soos the portable toilets are clogged again I am needed elsewhere my sister could be in trouble its time to get some evidence hehehehe aaah hehehe ahaha Ive seen enough Mabel we've gotta talk about norman isn't he the best look at this giant smoosh mark he gave me AA- haha gullible it was just an accident with the leaf blower kissing practice mmm AAAA TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF that was fun no Mabel listen I'm trying to tell you that normal is not what he seems *gasp* do you think he might be a vampire that would be so awesome guess again sister SHABAM AAA- oh wait I'm sorry SHABAM a zombie that is not funny dipper I'm not joking it all adds up the bleeding the limbs he never blinks have you noticed that maybe he's blinking when you're blinking Mabel remember what the book said about gravity falls trust no one what about me huh why cant you trust me beep bop Mabel he's gonna eat your brain Dipper listen to me Norman and I are going on a date at 5 o clock and I'm gonna be adorable and he's gonna be dreamy and I'm *but but* not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiriouses what am I gonna do *ding dong* coming hey Norman how do I look shiny you always know what to say soos is right I don't have any real evidence I guess I can be a kind of parinoid and WAIT WHAT AAAA I WAS RIGHT OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH grunkle stan grunkle stan grunkle stan and here we have a rock that looks like a face rock the rock that looks like a face does it look like a rock no it looks like a face its a rock that looks like a face over here grunkle stan for the 5th time its not an actual face ergh finally were alone yes alone stan stan wendy wendy wendy I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie try not to hit any predestrians dude its me soos this is for the zombies thanks and this is in case you see a pinata uhh thanks better safe than sorry ugh Mabel now that we gotten to know each other this phew there's something I should tell you oh Norman you can tell me anything please be a vampire please be a vampire alright just don't freak out okay just keep an open mind be cool is this weird is this too weird you need to sit down right I'll explain so were gnomes first off get that one out of the way uhh I'm Jeff and here we have carson steve Jason and I'm sorry I always forget your name shmebulok shmebulok yes anyways long story short us gnomes have been looking for a new queen right guys queen queen queen queen heh so what do you say will you join us holy machragnomy machramony blagh cant talk today look I'm sorry guys you're really sweet but I'm a girl and you're gnomes and its like what yikes we understand we'll never forget you mabel because we're gonna kidnap you huh waaa don't worry Mabel I'll save you from that zombie HELP hold on the more you struggle the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody haha okay get her arm there Steve gah let go of me bleugh what the heck is going on here hiss dipper norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes and theyre total jerks hair hair hair gnomes huh I was way off gnomes little men of the gravity falls forest weakness is unknown oh come on hey hey let go of my sister oh haha hey there uhm you know this all really just a big misunderstanding you see your sister is not in danger she is just marrying all 1000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all and eterinity isn't that right honey you guys are *scratch blocked the word*faces give her back right now or else you think you can stop us boy you have no idea you have no idea what were capable of the gnomes are a powerful race do not triffle with the aaa heyah he's getting away with our queen no no no seatbelt you've messed with the wrong creatures boy gnomes of the forest assemble hurry before they come after us I wouldn't be worried about it see their little legs haha those suckers are tiny dang alright teamwork guys like we practiced *roar* move move come back with our queen its getting closer euh nom nom hehe ha *punch* rar *beep beep* smhebulok *beep* I'll save you Dipper *punches* thanks Mabel don't mention it look out AAAAAAA AAAHH ughh ow stay back man heyah AAA- uhh where's grunkle stan behold the worlds most distracting object oooh just try to look away you can't I cant even remember what I was even talking about its the end line kids Mabel marry us before we do something crazy there's gotta be a way out of this I've got to do it what Mabel do this are you crazy trust me what Dipper just this once trust me alright Jeff I'll marry you hotdog help me down there Jason thanks Andy alright left foot
