Here’s a vent diary entry that captures what you’re going through: --- **Vent Diary** Today I finally got the courage to ask my mom if I could play VRChat again. I was nervous, not knowing what she’d say. When she answered “maybe,” I didn’t know how to feel. Maybe could mean yes, maybe could mean no, but it just left me hanging, like I’m stuck in this weird space between hope and disappointment. I wanted a clear answer, something solid, so I could know where I stand. But now, I’m just here, waiting again. And the waiting is hard. It feels like I'm always waiting for something...for a chance to be myself, to just exist without all these walls and limits around me. And then, the hate...it doesn’t stop. Just because I’m trans, people think they can say whatever they want, like I don’t have feelings. It hurts so much. Every time someone throws hate at me for being who I am, it’s like a stab. I’m already dealing with so much, and now, on top of that, I have to carry the weight of their judgment, their cruelty. I’m proud to be who I am, but sometimes it feels like no one else is proud of me, or even okay with me. And the poly stuff...I can’t even talk about it without someone hating on me. I can’t help that I’ve loved more than one person at a time, or that I still have feelings for people I care deeply about. I’ve heard it all—how it’s wrong, how I shouldn’t feel this way. I’ve tried to explain myself, but it just feels like no one wants to listen. I don’t even know why I try sometimes. It’s like I’m fighting a battle on all sides. I just wish people could understand, or at least try to. All I want is a little peace, a little acceptance, to be able to play VRChat without feeling like my whole existence is up for debate. Is that too much to ask? I just want to breathe, to feel like I belong somewhere, without all these doubts, fears, and hate hanging over me. I just want to be me.
