{Note: this is long.) Okay, I know this looks stupid and the topic is ridiculous from any other perspective, but it has been 4 months since the incident occurred. Sorry if this sounds cringy and edgy. If you don't know me, I was @5EChild4, and if you still don't know me, I get it. I wasn't that popular and only had 300 followers when everything went quickly. I'm here to talk about the blocking of my account and I've been feeling as of now, knowing that "some" of it was my fault. I will not be wasting any time talking about the beginnings @5EChild4 as that was 5 years and I want to focus on what made me get here in the first place. So, I guess we'll start with the "first blocking". It was around February to March 2022, I had gotten home from an awful day. Now, my days aren't usually terrible but it was late, we'd been lost at the park for 2-3 hours cuz of the dark and in my disoriented state, I started talking to an old friend, I'll call her Annie. So, we were talking from Scratch and because of my disorientation, I told Annie "This day was awful, I feel like I want to 'unalive' myself." We talked for a little and I think I tried to refresh the page but all I saw was a screen which had a "self-injury" hotline and block/ban. All I can say was that I was crushed, and even shed a few tears. I thought I was ruined. A lot happened after that, I made appeals to save my account (which meant they went to my old school teacher as this was an old school account lol) and she told my mum that I should make an alt account while I'm banned/blocked, and I did that for a while until after some pushing, I checked and it was back! I was saved, the gods sent from the Orange Cat Organization had helped me and hopefully pushed this little incident under the rug as this was a misunderstanding as I told them in my appeal messages, this hopefully won't be remembered and counted as the first strike of the unfortunate spiral of events that would happen on January 30th, 2024 at 6:57 p.m, that couldn't happen right... right? Unfortunately, we've got to the second blocking which also unfortunately was my fault, at least partially. So, to start with, I'll say that I did do a few things that did go against the guidelines. Not anything 18+ or way too much for any to stumble upon by accident, just that I'd include some mild gore or even occasionally mention of a darker topic and practically never would dare step past the line of what was the worst Scratch content could offer. Unfortunately, there were one or two projects which I feel went a little far with the gore and other stuff I can't say here which were "Frostbite but Blue and Pre-Cyan Daniel (feat. Anna & Post-Blue Daniel)" https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/781169377 & "OTHER SIDE ANIMATION TEASER" https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/910454105/, You can tell what you think and if It could've been the reason, but I have a feeling that those two in particular were the straws to break the cat's back. Now, in those projects, I did things that definitely either pushed the guidelines to their limits or straight up broke them. "Frostbite" had quite a bit of blood, and one of the characters had an arm and eye which was gone (but nothing too explicit like internal stuff besides the red stuff). "Other Side" had stuff such as blood, creepy pictures, minor use of guns and depictions of methods that the creature in the project shows the main character methods (WHILE CENSORED) to unalive himself with... which, after everything... I'm surprised at how dumb I was to think that'd slide, I'd even had projects removed for gore and stuff like that so I should've realised how this could most likely get me in the situation and I deeply wished I did with regret filling my mind, I do. So, Unsurprisingly, on January 30th, 2024 at 6:57 p.m., I lost my account, now I thought that this time, because my last unblocking was an accident and it certainly didn't count, by the end of next month like last time. I'd be helped by the gods at the Orange Cat Organisation, "there was a delay?" well, I guess I'll have to wait a little longer, in the meantime, I'll just use an old account of my siblings until I get my main back! "Another delay for my appeal?" Well it's been a week so I'm surprised but they're a busy non-profit organisation so they'll get to it eventually, unfortunately... no one came... and for what I feel for good reason. That delayed message kept on going until now, I can't afford the effort to even try to make a message to them cuz I somewhat feel like I don't deserve it even though I immensely regret everything and what's worse is that my alt Account had the same email address as my main account which resulted in that going too. This account doesn't have that same email but now, I feel worried if I do something wrong by accident, I'll get an IP BAN and lose everything even after my main account, including this account. I didn't want this to happen, but I made it happen, I messed up twice and been...
...banned THREE times (twice on my main account and once on my alt account.) and I want to fix it, i want to, if I ever get unbanned, delete and erase my bad projects, maybe erase ALL of my projects and make a clean slate for @5EChild4 account, but unless I ever do... I'm stuck. On this account, losing what my life feels like it's built up to... a demotivated failure. I don't want a major symphony, i don't want any bad things to come out of this, I don't want anyone to think i'm lying for hopes of forgiveness, because I don't, i just want what I lost back and to change my past mistakes to move forward and live better. I have felt... down for a long time and I want to change that. I want a final chance, to make a change... make it better. So, Just in case anyone at Scratch Moderator (real person preferably) even has a smidge of a chance of finding this, I'll leave this project of with this message. Dear Scratch Team, I'm sorry for everything I've done to try, trick and decieve this community of loving creators and coders. I broke your trust and you rightfully took action, not once but twice. And while the first time I was blocked was just a misunderstanding and misused words, I understand your intentions to help. I want to help fix what I've done. I love this community and it's people, I love this site. I want to be forgiven. I'm sorry. I'm not criticising you. I just want my account back. Repent for MY sins. I'm sorry. - @5EChild4 (Daniel) Credits for Music: "Windows96 - Deep Sleep (slowed)" by @pibblis
