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Ikari left to go take a quick shower, so I showed her where the guest bathroom was. I dont like taking showers during the day, so I just decided to wait for her to be done. I sat on my bed, I was holding a book but I couldn't focus enough to read it. My head was blurred with thousands of thoughts. Why did I let Ikari cuddle me? Should I have woken her up? Why did I feel so flushed? Did she notice? I took out a bottle, took a few pills, and felt my brain start to numb. I felt a bit better, I guess, or it was just the pill that made me feel that way. I felt my emotions blur, but so did my thoughts, which left me more at peace. I took a deep breath, then let out a small breath. I would be okay. I didn't have to think about this now. Still, the pills made me feel dull. I didn't feel as much as I did before. That's okay though, I didn't like feeling anyways. I thought about how long I'd been taking the pills. It's been a while, maybe I started when I was seven or eight years old. Maybe even nine. I quickly lost interest in that thought process, so I read my book until Ikari finished with the shower.
