Hey team. I'm sorry I disappeared on you all. I know a lot of you have probably also disappeared since I last saw you, but I wanted to leave a message for those of you who might still see this. I was looking back and realized I was missed and knew what I had to do, even if it filled me with wishy-washy emotions. Things changed back then, and it came time for me to leave, but dropping off the face of the website must've been pretty distressing to people who cared, especially considering the things I've been through in the past. It was wrong of me to go off the radar without a trace, and I hope that it can be forgiven. I realized some of you missed me when I went to go look at my old profile. I want you all to know that I'm alive and well and active on other socials, which will be listed on a specific sprite inside the project, as I'm hoping to keep in contact and continue growing my platform like I was on here. I've also included examples of my artwork nowadays that you can go through by pressing the spacebar. To be clear, I don't think I'm going to be posting much on here anymore. My content has evolved into work that is no longer friendly for the Scratch community, leaning into horror and dark, sensitive subjects. However, I won't lie that I really missed being here. I've made a lot of friends since leaving, and I've also lost a lot of friends over the years, falling out of contact with them or having the relationship blow up in my face. And man, I messed up so many times that I honestly kind of hate my past self some nights. Suffice to say, a lot has happened. I came out as trans male, turned fourteen and fifteen and then sixteen, began to evolve my work, got into some trouble, dated a few people, started re-learning my own self-worth, started a YouTube channel, and more. I've been knocked down and gotten back up more times than I can count, I started a Warrior Cats RP of my very own, began to animate using an animation program, and found my own found family along the way. I'm even learning to drive and started taking my very first local commissions. For reasons I'm not comfortable publicly disclosing, my ability to remember things has taken a turn for the worst. I hate to say it, but I can no longer remember a lot of who you guys are or how I knew you or how close we were. If y'all could remind me who you were and how you knew me, that'd be lovely. If you don't remember or weren't that close, I would love to get to know you better. Coming back, I actually realized that many of my inspirations at the time were following me, which is super cool. I won't be logging in on here anymore after this, but hopefully finding where I am elsewhere will help you connect with me. I've grown a lot as a person since I last saw you all, and I hope that it shows. I'm hoping to continue to go onwards and upwards without completely abandoning my past. I want to reconnect with my old friends. Thank you all so much for waiting for me. For not unfollowing or leaving while I was gone. I missed you all and I'm happy to be back, even if only for a little bit.
I teared up a little writing this. Nostalgia fills me with a sense of grief that feels like being punched in the gut while someone cuts onions in the background. There were a lot of things to say here, which is why it's so disjointed. ------------- Q&A because I know you'll probably have some questions. Q: Did you repeat what happened in 2021? A: I've had struggles with my mental health on and off throughout the years, but it never reached that point again and I'm extremely grateful. Q: Who did you lose? A: A lot of people, some amicably and some not. It's in the past now. I miss many of them some nights but there's not much I can do anymore. I hope wherever life takes them, they find peace and joy. Q: Any tips you learned while you were away? A: - Be careful meeting your idols, it almost never goes as planned. They're people, too, not your fantasy or doll. They have their thoughts and feelings and trauma and flaws and you need to be mindful of that. - Use a firm but gentle hand when in serious situations. - You don't need awards to have worth. - Resilience is crucial. Keep getting back up, they cannot kill you in any way that matters. - Just because you love someone doesn't mean they get to hurt you. - It's okay to miss people, even if they did you harm. - Grace takes time and no one is perfect. You'll get there eventually so long as you keep learning. - Don't let others pressure you into changing your beliefs. - Sometimes you have to set down your disagreements with other people to function in society. - We are all simeltaneously special and not special. - Cherish life, for it is wonderful and fleeting and painful and beautiful. - Whatever higher power you believe in, if at all, loves you, even if you don't always feel like it does. Q: How many people did you date? A: Four people, each one honestly worse than the last in various different ways. I am currently single and intend to stay that way for awhile. Q: Can you give us a hint as to why you're struggling with memories? A: There are many people in my head who steal them. Also, life is full of things and I process my own thoughts like a caffeinated chipmunk texting while riding a unicycle. Q: Is your bunny still alive? A: Yep! She's getting some silver hairs here and there, but she's still as sassy and energetic as ever. Q: What do you like now? A: - Genshin Impact - Cookie Run Kingdom - Warrior Cats but not the books - Wings Of Fire - Horror content - Funny textposts - Biology - Folklore - Dungeons & Dragons Q: How are you doing now? A: Better. I've had my ups and downs but I'm getting there. ------------- Thank you all for not unfollowing while I was away. It's wonderful to be able to tie up these loose ends. I know some people have gone on hiatus, moved accounts, left the site, and more, and my hope is that somehow this finds them, too. I hope they, too, are alive and well. I want to return to the friends and community that I called home for so long. I want to take you with me.
